How to Become a Beast Man
by xxGUSHINESSxx
Summary: After Beast Boy starts to lose control of his inner Beast, he enlists the help of one sarcastic empath. He's already had his chance inside her mind; now it's her turn. Sequel to "Emotion Sickness," but can act as a stand-alone. Complete. BB/Rae, minor RobStar.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note** : _This is the long awaited sequel to my story "Emotion Sickness" although this can also be considered a stand-alone. I have never written a BB/Rae fic before so this is my first attempt. Please let me know how I do!_

~0~0~0~

Beast Boy watched as Robin threaded his fingers with Starfire's.

The team was enjoying another movie night; the choice this evening was a comedy rather than a horror film. Cyborg sat on one end, followed by Starfire, Robin, Beast Boy, and then finally Raven seated to his left. Due to Beast Boy's vantage point, he was able to notice two of his teammates flirting subtly.

Robin and Starfire had been dating for approximately one month. While their new relationship inevitably had its awkward moments, both teens appeared to be quite happy, and Beast Boy was glad for them.

Despite his support for his friends, he still felt a pinch in his throat when he saw them acting like a couple, as they were doing now. Maybe it was because any attempt of romance he had tried to initiate in his own life had fallen flat.

He rarely thought of Terra anymore. After she had left him alone in the hallway of her school it was pretty clear even to him that things had changed. That didn't mean it hurt any less.

Robin's thumb began running slowly over Starfire's hand. Beast boy, despite himself, let out a low growl. His eyes snapped over to Raven who had taken notice of his noise and had quirked an eyebrow in response. Beast Boy reddened. Yeah…that was a whole other matter.

The growl, he meant. For some reason his inner Beast was acting up lately. It wasn't often, but every once in a while the Beast made himself known in some manner. Sometimes it would be small claw marks on the sofa, or an unusual temper, or in this case, an unintended growl.

Beast Boy had been so ashamed for the way he had acted when he was the Beast. Although his primal instincts ended up saving Raven, he didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that he had acted like a real jerk. As grateful as Raven was about his heroism-if one could even call it that-it terrified him to think something as volatile as the Beast could still exist inside him.

And Raven was the only one who truly knew it would never leave.

Maybe he should talk to her about his concerns. He could tell her about some of the weird behaviors he was experiencing. Raven liked to tease him occasionally, almost as much as he liked to tease her, but somehow he knew if he told her it was serious she would help him in a heartbeat.

As the movie concluded and the credits began to roll, Cyborg let out a dramatic yawn while stretching his arms.

"I don't know about y'all, but I'm gonna call it a night" he announced, getting up. He winked at Starfire and Robin -who both blushed slightly- before she clapped Beast Boy on the shoulder and exited the room.

Beast Boy watched Raven wordlessly get up and nod her goodbyes to the other Titans. He wanted to jump up and stop her, but he didn't want to alert Robin and Starfire of anything unusual. God knows that out of everything those two had in common, persistently ensuring their friends were okay was at the top of the list.

Nevertheless, he didn't want Raven to retreat to her room before he had a chance to talk with her. Once she was in her room she wouldn't come out until morning, especially for him.

So with his plan to intercept her firmly in mind, Beast Boy sprang up after Raven had exited ops.

"Good night, Friend Beast Boy!" Starfire called to him, but he was out the door so fast he nearly didn't hear her.

Once Beast Boy was in the hall he caught the edge of Raven's robe disappearing around the corner. He broke into a full sprint, forgetting in his haste that he could morph into an animal that was much faster. He caught a glimpse of her starting to enter her room. He reached out his hand dramatically.

"Noooooo!" he cried, but Raven either didn't notice him or chose to ignore him as she entered the room and slide the door shut. Beast Boy collapsed outside her door, panting heavily and his ears drooping in disappointment.

Why didn't he morph into something faster? Why didn't he have the nerve to just leave ops earlier? The _Beast_ wouldn't have messed this up.

Beast Boy felt the hairs on his neck raise in anger. He could feel the start of his claws peeking out from under his fingernails.

 _Calm down, Dude._

It was happening again. His temper was spiking, never mind that it was about something that normally would have been considered a minor inconvenience. Beast Boy exhaled hard through his nostrils, raised a fist and slammed it into Raven's door. The force of the impact was so intense that it made a sizeable dent.

Almost immediately Raven's door slide open a crack to reveal the none too pleased half-demon. The pale half crescent of her face was expressionless, other than her eyes, which betrayed how annoyed she was. What she wasn't expecting was the sight before her.

Beast Boy stood on the other side, slightly hunched over and panting. His face was contorted in a mixture of anger, sorrow and confusion.

"Beast Boy?" she asked, all traces of anger gone.

He spared a glance up at her. "It's back. I know it is."

Raven didn't have to know what "it" was. She already knew. And because she had seen him this way before, and because she knew she couldn't help him the first time, she did something unprecedented and took him into her room.

~0~0~0~

"How long has this been happening?" Raven asked calmly from her bed.

Beast Boy was seated on her floor, his legs crossed. He had calmed down considerably, but still looked like he was on edge. Raven made sure that whatever she said had to be handled with the utmost caution.

"I don't know. Three weeks? Maybe longer," he said gruffly, looking rather ashamed of himself.

"I thought you had it under control," she remarked, referring to the time he had summoned the Beast before Trigon had taken over the world.

"So did I!" Beast Boy snapped looking up. His shoulder sagged after a moment. "Sorry," he amended.

"It's alright," Raven said standing up. "But I need you to think about this. Until recently you've had complete control over your Beast. Cyborg's antidote cured you. Whatever you are feeling had to do with something you saw, something you felt."

"What, like a trigger?" Beast Boy asked skeptically.

Raven nodded. "We already know that when the Beast controls you, your temper shortens and your form starts to change. Even before you had the antidote, the Beast was brought out, usually if someone antagonized you…or if you had someone to protect. Can you think about the times when your Beast wishes to break free? What usually happens before?"

Beast Boy thought about that for a moment. Cyborg had been on a winning streak with _Mega Monkeys 4_ a couple of weeks ago. He had beaten Beast Boy so badly that the changeling had thrown down his controller and smashed it to pieces. The behavior had shocked Beast Boy so badly, that he promised he would replace the controller with his own money.

There was another time last week where Starfire had wished to share another Tamaranian recipe with her friends. As usual she approached Beast Boy first, since he was the most likely suspect to at least try what she had made. That particular day though he had refused to sample her dish. After Starfire continued to persist, Beast Boy had snapped something along the lines of "no one wants to taste your alien slop," effectively causing Starfire to leave in tears and Robin to become cross with him for days.

As if those things weren't embarrassing enough, almost every time he saw Robin and Starfire flirt he would become irrationally annoyed. It wasn't just them. He would pass by couples on a park bench, strangers he had never seen before, kissing and touching and he would growl and furl his fists.

Beast Boy hated the way he was acting. Every time he lashed out at his friends or became enraged at the slightest thing he would feel completely guilty about it afterwards. He wanted to return to the lighthearted, fun loving guy everyone knew he was. He hoped Raven could help him.

He carefully explained everything that had happened to him in the past couple of weeks, everything except his anger towards other couples. For some reason he didn't want to tell Raven that detail. It's not that he didn't trust her, but some things were just too personal.

"Well," Raven said after Beast Boy had concluded. "It sounds as if your emotions have become unbalanced. Although the cause is unknown, there is a way to try to balance them. I…sometimes struggle with my emotions as well."

"Oh _really,_ Rae?" Beast Boy asked with a toothy grin.

Raven narrowed her eyes before sitting down on the floor across from him. She crossed her legs and stared directly into his eyes.

"I can help you control your emotions, but be forewarned…it can be an unpleasant process."

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "Come on, how bad can it be?"

Raven lifted her hood and straightened her spine until she sat in a perfect lotus position. "Balancing emotions means dealing with memories that have not surfaced for some time. These memories can be unpleasant, and can cause emotional turmoil as a result," she cautioned.

Beast Boy's eyes widened. Memories?

"I may not be able to control what or how much I see," Raven continued, and here she looked unsure. "I…understand if you don't trust me enough to go through with this."

Beast Boy cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean? Of course I trust you, Rae."

Raven's spine stiffened. She would be lying if she said the answer hadn't caught her off guard. She tried not to reveal just how surprised she was in her next statement.

"Very well. Then let us begin," she said softly, taking his hands.

Beast Boy stared down at their joined hands; he tried to remember the last time Raven had willingly touched him. He squeezed her hands in response.

"Not so hard," Raven murmured, her eyes already closed.

The green Titan smiled sheepishly before relaxing his features. He barely heard Raven whisper her three trademark words before they were enveloped in his first memory.

~0~0~0~

 **Author's Note:** _Let me know what you think to the start of the story. I am happy to take suggestions. I always update frequently, but I will update faster depending on the amount of reviews I get!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _Thinking about potentially writing a multi-chapter one-shot entitled "After Things Change" as a continuation of the Teen Titans as if there was a sixth season. The story would focus on the adventures the Titans have, as well as cover Robin and Starfire's growth as a couple after Tokyo, and Raven and Beast Boy's growth which will eventually result in them as a couple. Let me know if this sounds interesting or something you would like to read! I do not own the Titans and do not claim to._

~0~0~0~

Raven felt her feet land on cement ground. As her surroundings began to fade into view she started to take notice of the drab colored walls. There was little to look at in this venue. The only things that stood out in the large, indoor surface area were stacks of boxes, various metal equipment and the occasional mat lying across the floor.

She knew this type of place well. Although it was warehouse like in nature, it's wide space made the perfect use for laps, sprints, acrobatics and sparring. Robin would have loved a training room like this, and the rest of the Titans would have loathed being forced to use it every day.

Beast Boy felt a knot in his stomach. Raven wasn't kidding when she said this was going to be unpleasant.

"This was my old training room," Beast Boy murmured, the proximity of his voice nearly making Raven jump. "Mento would always-"

Raven didn't get to hear the end of that sentence as the doors to the training room burst open, and the Doom Patrol marched into their view. Mento was among them, and so was a younger version of Beast Boy. Raven watched the eagerness that swept throughout the young changeling's body, as if he was about to burst with enthusiasm. He still had that familiar dopy grin, but it seemed too large for his face. That ridiculous mask was covering most of his features, so it was hard to tell what age he was in this memory.

Raven spared a glance at the Beast Boy beside her, and wasn't surprised to see that he did not mirror the excitement of his younger self. If they were going to balance his emotions, he would have to relive some of his worst memories. He knew all too well how this particular one was going to end.

"Beast Boy," Mento instructed, "change into a hawk." His voice carried a level of authority that boarded on harsh; Robin would never have spoken to any of them in such a manner.

The young Beast Boy's smile faded slightly as he focused. After much thought he morphed into the avian creature that his leader had demanded. His transformation process was slower than what Raven was used to. Beast Boy had clearly perfected the art of changing into various forms over the years.

The other members of the Doom Patrol smiled and applauded lightly. Elasti-Girl beamed proudly at her adopted son.

Mento's face remained impassive.

"Jaguar," he ordered.

Beast Boy briefly switched back into his human form before concentrating once more. Raven watched this younger version of himself breathe carefully, focusing all his attention on the task in front of him. She had rarely seen him this intense before. It became clear that impressing Mento was very important to him.

After a few long seconds the young Beast Boy changed into a jaguar. He let out a victorious growl.

"Great job, Garfield!" Elasti-Girl called over to him. Mento spared her a cursory glance.

"Tyrannosaurus Rex," Mento called.

Beast Boy shifted to his human form and scratched his head.

"Mento, I don't think I can do that yet," he admitted.

Mento narrowed his eyes. "We've been working on your powers for over a year now, and the largest you can manage is a hippopotamus. You should be able to turn into something much larger by now."

"Steve," Elasti-Girl chided. "He's just a child."

"He's almost a teenager. He should be able to have a much more capable hold on his powers by now" Mento insisted. He turned to Beast Boy. "Tyrannosaurus Rex."

Raven stilled as Beast Boy became focused once more. She had a terrible feeling about this. A few moments later the young, green hero attempted to change. His body contorted in a horrible fashion, as if he was being burned, and with a shriek he collapsed to the floor clutching his arm.

Elasti-Girl cried out and raced towards him, followed by Robotman and Negative Man. Elasti-Girl bent over Beast Boy, surveying the damage.

"His arm's broken!" she gasped, one hand covering her mouth.

Mento's face became racked with a mixture of guilt, frustration, and indecisiveness. Raven knew him well enough to know he cared for Beast Boy, but he was never good at showing him how much. Sure enough, Mento didn't disappoint. He quickly left the training room without saying anything to Beast Boy or anyone else.

Elasti-Girl wiped the tears streaming from young Beast Boy's eyes.

"There, there," she said softly, "we'll get you something for the pain."

Beast Boy didn't respond to this; instead he looked up at the rest of his team in sorrow.

"I'll never be what he wants."

Raven closed her eyes. It didn't matter if young Beast Boy meant as a hero or as a son; in his mind he would always be a disappointment to his adoptive father. She glanced at the Beast Boy beside her to see his face twisted in the pain of the memory.

Beast Boy knew ever since that day he had practiced and practiced, trying in vain to change into something bigger. As it happened, the day he finally was able to morph into a T-Rex was the day Mento had chastised him for letting The Brain escape.

The pain of the experience felt like it was eating him up inside. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of this memory.

Then the scene vanished.

A wave of memories hit next. They were brief, almost too fleeting to grab a hold onto any of them. Raven saw a toddler running through the jungle, Terra holding a boulder ready to crush Beast Boy, him turning into the Beast and losing control. She saw herself snapping at him several times which bothered her. These were supposed to be the memories that caused him pain, and it hurt her to know that she was a part of that, never mind how insignificant compared to the other memories.

In a few more moments there was a jolt, and the two Titans were transported back into Raven's room. They unclasped hands immediately and remained silent, lost in their own thoughts.

Finally Raven spoke. "I know that was difficult…but you did well for the first time. Normally it takes several practices to form a full memory. Usually they come in quick flashes, like the ones we just saw. It only means that the process of balancing your emotions will take less time than I thought."

Beast Boy nodded, but his eyes remained on the ground rather than her. She knew what he must be feeling. It was one thing to think back to a memory and remember the pain one felt; it was another thing to _feel_ the same pain all over again. Raven knew that although this process would be difficult, it would help him in the long run.

Maybe he realized that too, for although he didn't speak, he wordlessly pulled Raven into a tight hug. She was surprised at the gesture, but she didn't resist it. She awkwardly reached one of her arms up and patted him on the back in what she hoped was a reassuring manner.

Soon after, Beast Boy slowly stood up and walked out of her room.

~0~0~0~

They barely spoke the day after that. Raven knew how important space was, so she wanted to give him all the time he needed. Although neither of them had made a verbal agreement to keep their memory session from the other Titans, Raven knew she wouldn't tell the others until she was forced.

She knew they couldn't wait forever though. Sooner or later they would have to do another session, or the Beast could make itself known again. It seemed as though Beast Boy did not want to continue the sessions, however, with the way he was practically avoiding her.

So it came as a surprise when he sought her out a few days later while she was meditating on the roof of the Tower. It was a warm summer evening, and Raven was enjoying the slight breeze that ruffled her robe as she chanted her words. It was hard to focus when she felt Beast Boy approaching. She knew it was him because his aura was racked with negative emotions. She waited for him to speak first.

"I feel horrible," he said bluntly.

Raven levitated back down to the floor and lowered her hood. She turned to face him.

"I know," she told him. "I warned you it wouldn't be easy. I promise if you focus enough-"

"Not about that," he said, cutting her off. He sat down, his legs crossed in front of her. "I meant about ignoring you."

"Oh," Raven replied.

"It's just embarrassing," he smiled uneasily at her, "revealing this stuff to someone."

"I'm not here to judge you."

"I know," Beast Boy continued. "I'm not sure how much you saw the first time, but it can be…really personal, ya know?"

Raven watched as his entire face turned a steady red. Something told her that she hadn't been privy to all of the memories he experienced during their first session; she couldn't recall anything that was overly embarrassing, at least not in the way Beast Boy was reacting right now. He must have seen something during the flashes of memories that she hadn't.

"I was wondering if we could try it again actually," he admitted, after she didn't respond. "I want to get this over with, before I start acting weird again."

Raven cocked her head to the side. "Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary over the past couple of days?"

Beast Boy looked unsure. "Not exactly…"

Raven narrowed her eyes. She had suspected when Beast Boy mentioned his symptoms to her earlier that he hadn't mentioned all of them. She was sure he hiding something, whether from embarrassment or from fear she didn't know.

"If there is anything else you need to tell me," she insisted.

"It's…hard to explain," he muttered, thinking back to the insane jealousy of other couples he had been having. Without really thinking about it he reached over and took Raven's hand. Something was telling him to hold on to it, and he didn't choose to question it. He carefully wove his fingers through hers, similar to how Robin had held Starfire's hand a few nights before.

Raven watched in disbelief. There was definitely something he wasn't telling her, and she had a feeling it was the cause of the Beast resurfacing in the first place.

"Gar-"

The Titan alarm blared causing Beast Boy to snap upright and remove his hand from Raven's.

"Trouble! Let's go Raven!" he called. Then he raced down the roof steps as if nothing had happened.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** _I'm hoping to get more review soon, it would be great to get feedback for my story!_

~0~0~0~

The Titans arrived in the center of Jump City where Doctor Light had planted a machine that appeared to be sucking the light from all of it's surrounding sources. Street lamps, car headlights, and the light shining through windows were somehow sucked into this machine. Doctor Light pressed his hands to the orb shining at the top of the mechanism, his power growing every moment he kept contact with it. He looked up as the Titans touched down a short distance away from him.

"Titans!" he greeted, grinning menacingly, "Good to see you again!" His eyes shifted over until they landed upon Raven. "Well…you, not so much."

"Surrender now, Doctor Light" Robin commanded, "or we'll take you down!"

"Yeah seriously, Man, just make it easier on yourself" Cyborg quipped.

Doctor Light narrowed his eyebrows, his mouth twisting in glee. "Why would I surrender when my future seems so bright?"

He suddenly withdrew his hands from the machine and blasted two sizeable light beams at the Titans, forcing them to separate.

"I believe he has used that pun before," Starfire mentioned.

"Nothing's original about this guy, Star" Beast Boy called over.

"If Doctor Light doesn't have any new tricks then it will be just as easy to stop him," Robin added. "Titans, go!"

Raven flew into action, creating a force field of black energy when one of Doctor Light's beams came her way. She had not anticipated the power of the impact, however, and was blown from the air, landing roughly on the ground.

As Beast Boy was passing her, he paused and turned her way.

"You okay?" he asked, stopping in his tracks.

Raven nodded, dumbly. It wasn't unusual for teammates to check up on each other, but she would be lying if she said his concern for her didn't surprise her a little.

Beast Boy smiled at her before morphing into a rhino and charging the villain. Doctor Light's beams struck again toward the changeling, however, and he had to turn into a hawk to avoid the rays.

While Doctor Light was preoccupied with Beast Boy, Starfire flew Cyborg over him, choosing to drop her cybernetic friend when the villain least expected it. Doctor Light had to jump back away from his machine in order not to be crushed. Robin and Starfire fought Doctor Light from there while Cyborg broke out some of his tools, trying to dismantle the machine.

Raven rose again just in time to see both Robin and Starfire crash into each other after another beam attack. She used her black energy to lift a couple of cars and hurl them at the evil man. Doctor Light merely crossed his arms and summoned a yellow barrier, crumpling the cars as they bounced off it.

The empath landed in front of him preparing to fight on the ground. Doctor Light summoned more of his beams, but this time Raven was ready. She sank into the ground, leaving him looking around for his opponent. She rose up behind him and sent a force of black energy his way, knocking him off his feet. As he rose again he cracked his knuckles.

"You know someone as dark as yourself really out to think of brightening your horizons!" he shouted, stomping on the ground and sending lightening like currents her way. Caught off guard by this new power the machine had given him, Raven screamed, as she was shocked relentlessly. She fell to her knees her hand clutching her head as Doctor Light ran towards her. She clenched her fists ready for his next attack.

Before she could summon her words however, a green hairy animal landed between her and Doctor Light. The villain stumbled back, not quite sure what to expect. The Beast snarled at the criminal, baring its teeth and flexing its claws.

 _Oh no,_ Raven thought. _We've waited too long._

This was the first time to Raven's knowledge that the Beast had fully made itself known, and by the shocked looks on the other Titans faces, it seemed that they too were completely caught off guard.

The Beast lunged for Doctor Light, swinging out his right arm and creating a large scratch across the villain's chest. Doctor Light screeched and fell backwards, his hands in the air.

 _We should have been balancing his emotions every day,_ Raven thought, still in a daze. _This is my fault._

"Please!" Doctor Light cried. "I surrender! You Titans are _brutal!_ "

"Beast Boy, stop!" Robin cried.

The Beast did not listen. He grabbed Doctor Light's leg in his teeth and shook the villain violently back and forth across the pavement. Raven snapped back to life.

" _Garfield!_ "

The Beast paused in his vicious motions, releasing Doctor Light's leg and turning to face the half-demon. Doctor Light whimpered on the ground, clutching his leg. Starfire flew down beside him and dragged him from the Beast's path in case he decided to hurt the man more.

The Beast thundered up and hunched over so his face was level with Raven, who was still on her knees. He huffed, blowing hot breath into her face. The other Titans watched in fear for Raven, but she was not afraid. She stared into the Beast's eyes. She wanted it to know she did not fear him.

After several tense moments, the Beast's eyes lowered and he slowly started to morph back to the Beast Boy she knew. His clothes were shredded at the arms and legs, and his claws still hadn't fully retracted. He fell to his hands and knees, moaning.

"Raven, are you okay," Robin called, starting to approach them.

Beast Boy's back tensed and he whipped his head around, snarling at Robin. The Titans' leader stepped back. Beast Boy may have returned to his proper form, but his eyes were still feral.

"Don't move," Raven warned Robin. "I'll take him back to the Tower, meet us back there once you've returned Doctor Light to prison." Raven summoned a portal. She turned to face the other Titans who were still looking at her in disbelief. She carefully swung one of Beast Boy's arms over her shoulders.

"Meet in the infirmary," she added.

~0~0~0~

The other Titans met Raven and Beast Boy in the Tower's hospital wing as soon as they had ensured Doctor Light was back in custody. Due to Beast Boy's primal state, Robin had ordered the changeling to be strapped to a hospital bed in order to prevent him from injuring himself. The green Titan's eyes were still wild, and his fangs and claws had protruded, but he had not transformed into the Beast again. After running a few tests on him, Cyborg had confirmed that because of the antidote, it was very unlikely Beast Boy would transform into the Beast again so soon. Despite this, the other Titans were still fearful for their friend.

"Raven," Robin addressed the empathy seriously, "Care to explain what's going on?"

Raven sighed; they would have had to fess up sooner or later.

"Beast Boy came to me last week claiming that he had been having some symptoms similar to when the Beast had taken over him. This-" she nodded to the changeling who was thrashing his head from side to side and frothing at the mouth, "-is the worst I have seen him since he came asking for my help."

"How have you been helping him?" Cyborg asked, looking at Beast Boy with concern.

"Beast Boy noticed his symptoms flare when he experiences something that aggravates him, or is trying to protect something," she continued, referring to his transformation mid-battle. "He has been mediating with me to balance his emotions in order to subdue the effects."

"But why did he transform today if you have been helping him?" Starfire asked, wringing her hands.

Raven looked away. "The process of balancing his emotions…strained him. We haven't mediated in a few days. That, with the combination of his need to protect me from Doctor Light's attacks may have triggered his transformation."

"What does that mean for now?" Robin asked, making sure to stay a generous distance away from both Beast Boy's bed as well as Raven.

"I will need to mediate with him every day to speed up the process, despite the strain it may have on his emotions. There's something else…" Raven paused here, debating how much she should tell the other Titans. "I don't know for sure what is causing these symptoms. I can only help Beast Boy as much as he is willing to share with me. There may be an underlying reason as to why his Beast is making itself known again…but whatever that reason is he does not wish to share it at this time."

Robin stepped forward. "But what if-"

Beast Boy let out a horrible snarl, which made Starfire gasp in surprise. His thrashing intensified to the point where he was starting to smack his temples against the metal rails of the hospital bed. Raven rushed forward.

"I'll need to enter his mind now," she said, trying to keep her voice calm despite how tense she felt. "Leave, quickly!"

Cyborg, Robin and Starfire didn't need to be told twice as they spared one last look at their tortured friend before exiting the infirmary. As soon as they were gone, Raven lifted her hood and walked over until she was right next to Beast Boy. He didn't even seem to notice her presence as he continued to contort wildly. She carefully leaned over and placed her hands on either side of his face, holding him still. She bent her neck down and touched her forehead to his. He seemed to calm ever so slightly as she closed her eyes, praying to Azar this worked.

 _"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."_

Memories flashed across her mind so quickly she could barely make sense of them. Beast Boy accidently eating meat, getting screamed at by a young girl for making a faulty balloon animal, Raven blowing up at him and scattering tofu all over him, Terra vanishing down a hallway.

Hmmm. She might be on to something with that last one there.

In a few moments it was all over. Raven was ejected from his mind and with a gasp she returned to infirmary, her head still pressed against his.

"Uh, Raven? You feeling okay?"

Raven snapped her head back from Beast Boy's, her slight annoyance fading away once she saw he had returned completely to normal. She watched as he glanced down at himself, noticing the disarray of his uniform.

"Guess we ought to start making this a regular thing, huh?" he questioned sheepishly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** _Just a reminder to please review this story, and to let me know if you would be interesting in me writing a "sixth season" for the Titans! The more reviews I get the faster I post :)_

~0~0~0~

In order to avoid another unexpected transformation, Raven and Beast Boy made sure they mediated at least once every day, sometimes more. It was exhausting to say the least, and it certainly wasn't pleasant work sorting through unpleasant memories. Since Raven would also feel and see at least a fraction of what Beast Boy saw, she too found herself being slightly affected. Sometimes the two would catch themselves snapping at each other after a session for little to no reason. As they continued to sift through Beast Boy's memories however, there became an active change in his recent behaviors.

For starters, Beast Boy noticed a drastic change in his emotions. Although he could sometimes be irritable or upset after reliving his memories, on a day-to-day basis his mood improved significantly. There weren't many things that bothered him these days, including Robin and Starfire's public displays of affection. He also hadn't unintentionally changed his physical appearance since the battle with Doctor Light.

Moreover, the changeling began to notice a shift in his interactions with Raven. He had always considered Raven to be a close friend, but these days he found himself acting strangely around her. In the past her sarcastic comments would earn a grin or a stink eye from Beast Boy, but more recently he found himself laughing nervously or blushing. Whenever she took his hands to begin a session he felt his heart beat faster, and he really hoped she didn't notice how clammy his grip became.

Raven, it seemed, had noticed a similar behavior on her end but for a different reason. She became more hesitant around Beast Boy, especially each time after they mediated together. Even though she found herself enjoying his company more and had noticed how easily the two managed to strike up a conversation outside of the sessions, she felt herself churning with confusion.

Sometimes it felt as though Beast Boy looked at her as more than a friend, and sometimes she would entertain that thought and what it would be like. As soon as she would catch what she was doing, however, she would subdue any of these farfetched fantasies. What Beast Boy was feeling must not have anything to do with how he genuinely felt; rather, it was a product of trying to balance unstable emotions. Raven had seen Terra appear in his unpleasant memories many times, far more than she had for which she was grateful. Despite this, it had occurred to Raven that his shy glances might be from over emotions meant for Terra, not for her. Because of this, she swore to maintain boundaries with the vegetarian.

Little did either Titan know that a third Titan had also noticed the growth in their relationship. Although Starfire would probably never mention it to anyone, she hadn't left the infirmary hallway right way. She was still far too anxious for her friend to leave the premises, so she had floated silently to a nearby window and had watched what had transpired.

The Tamaranian was captivated with the way Raven had held Beast Boy's face and was surprised to find that the changeling hadn't tried to resist her in his feral state. Raven's head had leant down, her nose brushing Beast Boy's, their lips only centimeters apart.

Starfire had flown away after this. She felt as though a moment so intimate should not be meant for others. She had considered telling Robin, for he was her boyfriend and best friend, but even telling him did not seem appropriate or fair to her friends. She opted to curiously watch the two Titans at a distance, never interfering but always being available if either of them needed to have "the girl talk."

It had been almost two weeks since Raven and Beast Boy had started their sessions, and Raven believed them to be nearly finished. She was planning to continue their mediation routine for another week, partly to be on the safe side but also because she secretly enjoyed how close she felt with the green Titan during them.

Even an hour before sessions, Beast Boy would come to her room just to talk to her about anything. She would tell him what she had been reading and he would always relay it back to the graphic novels he enjoyed. The two discussed how they had heard the theory that there were only truly five original stories in the world, and the rest were mere adaptations of them.

Sometimes Raven would even feel comfortable enough to talk about her feelings. Malchior had come up twice, and although both conversations had been brief, she had felt as if Beast Boy was truly invested in what she was saying.

She noticed how he never brought up Terra. Not even once. Perhaps she would test the waters and mention her.

Raven watched Beast Boy as he lay on his back on the floor of her room. One arm propped his head up behind his back and the other rested on his stomach. He stared up at the ceiling as he talked to her. She watched the gentle rise and fall of his breath and the way his ears bobbed as he talked.

"Raven?" he asked, turning to her, and she realized he had repeated his question.

"What?" she said, caught off guard.

Beast Boy sat up. "I said we should probably get started now, don't you think?"

Raven nodded, embarrassed with herself for spacing out. She crossed her legs until she was in lotus position, and after Beast Boy mirrored her she took his hands. He looked at her expectantly.

"We are going to try something a little different today," she told him. He cocked his head to the side. "Although balancing negative emotions requires us to sift through them," she continued, "occasionally it helps to also relive happy memories. These are the memories that you cherish the most, the ones you'll always want to carry with you."

Beast Boy seemed pleased that they would be looking through something other than his worst memories. Raven tried not to notice that he had squeezed her hands a little tighter.

"Whenever you're ready, Rae-Rae."

Raven rolled her eyes before taking a deep breath. Her thumbs brushed over the back of Beast Boy's hands carefully, a reminder that the days she would get to touch him like this again were numbered. She closed her eyes.

 _"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."_

As usual there were only flashes of memories that made themselves present for Raven to view. She saw her friends laughing all together as a team, saw the joy on Beast Boy's face when he realized Star had survived Thunder and Lightening's attack, the first time Terra looked at him as more than a friend, when the team had played a rousing game of football, when she had admitted she didn't hate him while they were trapped in her mirror, when Terra had returned, when Raven hugged him tightly after Malchior, when he leaned in to kiss Terra before they were interrupted, when the team had defeated the Brotherhood of Evil, when Raven talked to him about his Beast, when Beast Boy gave her his lucky penny…

Time seemed to freeze and the next memory was silent.

Raven looked around confused. The boundaries of this memory were fuzzy as if Beast Boy was struggling to remember the details. As if the memory did not exist at all…

 _This must be his free thought, one of his desires,_ she thought.

Unlike the other images, Raven lived through this fantasy, rather than watched as an observer. When she moved forward she moved with Beast Boy's legs, swung his arms. She looked from side to side, coming to the conclusion she was on the roof of the Titans' Tower. It was dusk; the sky was a swirling blue and purple, reminding Raven of the cotton candy Starfire loved at the Jumpy City boardwalk carnival.

Raven looked up, still living through Beast Boy's body. She saw a figure sitting on the edge of the roof. Their hair blew gently in the breeze.

Raven felt her chest constrict with nerves, with pain, with hurt. She felt confusion and wonder and panic. Then slowly at first but then all at once warmth settled throughout her. She had never felt anything like it, so she was reluctant to let it go as the fantasy faded to black.

Beast Boy opened his eyes to see Raven staring back at him curiously. They had returned once again to her room, their hands still locked. He knew she had seen this last image, this thought he has created, he just didn't know how much he was able to recreate for her. He also knew she had felt what he had felt when she had witnessed it. He had wanted her to know, wanted her to understand.

He uncrossed his legs, moving to his knees so he could look at her. He untangled their hands so he could reach over and carefully pull down her hood. She watched him, and he wondered if she could tell how hard his heart was beating. Before he lost the feeling inside his chest completely, he dipped his head down and connected his lips with hers.

Raven's eyes widened, and she snapped her head back immediately. Beast Boy fell back onto his behind, startled. Raven threw her hood back up quickly, once again throwing up her protective barrier.

"You shouldn't," she stated, standing up.

Beast Boy's mouth hung open. "W-why?" he asked, also rising.

Raven frowned. "Your emotions have been affected. This session was meant to balance happy memories and feelings. You're confused."

Raven was angry with herself for allowing something like this to happen. She knew balancing emotions would be a messy business, but she had never imagined that her own feelings would get caught in the middle.

"I'm not confused," Beast Boy insisted. "I wanted you to see what you saw."

"And I saw it all," Raven snapped, a part of her feeling irrationally hurt that Terra had still managed to slip her way into several of his happy memories. As much as Raven didn't want to admit it, it did hurt, and it suddenly made everything all clear.

"She's the reason you've been having trouble with your Beast," Raven concluded.

Raven didn't need to clarify who "she" was.

"When you saw her again, the pain of the memories allowed him to resurface. Rather than deal with the pain as a human, it becomes easier to cope when you can't love and feel pain the same way a human can. It's why you can't stand the sight of Robin and Starfire," she continued, referring to his verbal reaction during their movie night.

"So maybe that's the reason," Beast Boy shrugged. "It sucked to see her walk away after all she's been through with us…and with me. I don't know. What I do know is I'm not letting those feelings get to me anymore. I mean it, Rae."

He looked up at her, a small smile on his face. "But what I _do_ know is when I'm with you-"

"You're confusing what you feel for her with me," she interrupted him; not being able to stand the possibility that it was all a lie. The pain would be overbearing.

Beast Boy's eyes dimmed and his smile faded. His expression turned cold, but Raven could tell what she said had really hurt him. She felt a stabbing pain of guilt. Many emotions travelled over Beast Boy's face for several moments before he finally settled on anger. He stepped close, so his face was level with hers.

"I didn't complain when you saw all of my memories, all of my embarrassing thoughts and feelings," he said, his voice laced with ice. "I didn't care that you saw me at my worst. I didn't care if you got to see something so personal. But don't you _dare_ tell me what I feel."

His voice cracked on the last word, and he stood back from her, his mask already breaking. Raven's eyes widened, shocked at such an admission. She wished she had the time to think of a reply, but anything she would have said fell on deaf ears as Beast Boy left her room. She couldn't help but think it felt like he was leaving much more.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next couple of days, Beast Boy did everything he could to avoid Raven. He made sure he stayed in his room until long after she had gotten her breakfast of herbal tea, and he would casually exit a room if she had stepped into it. His churning emotions of embarrassment, anger, and sadness made it difficult for him to focus much on anything else.

How could she possibly accuse him of lying about his feelings? True, Terra had been close to his heart and it hurt to see her feign amnesia, but if he was perfectly honest his romantic feelings for her had subsided after she had turned to stone. When he had seen her again at her school, he had certainly hoped for a moment that things could return to how they were, but a part of him had felt as though he was grasping at straws. Things had changed, and when Terra had walked out of his life yet again, he knew it was for the last time.

Raven had always been there for him, so it hurt his already bruised demeanor when she had simply rejected his feelings on the basis that she did not find them genuine. He didn't know what this meant for their friendship, and he certainly didn't know what it meant for the emotional balance process.

Due to their lack of recent sessions, Beast Boy had been on edge again. Although he did not experience any severe symptoms-he assumed the reason was because their sessions were nearly complete-he was worried he would start to act out again. He knew sooner or later he would have to seek out Raven's help to finish the process, but for the time being he remained stubborn and allowed himself to sulk.

Raven did not feel much better than her green teammate. She felt mildly nauseous every time she thought back to their last interaction. She knew she had to make things right, however this was difficult considering the person she needed to talk to the most was avoiding her like the plague.

The empath walked down the hallway, her aura swirling with unsettlement. She paused in front of one of her teammates' doors. Thankfully, there was someone else who might be able to help her. She glanced up at the door and sighed before raising her hand and knocking firmly.

The door slid open a few moments later to reveal the Tamaranian princess, a smile already wide on her face.

 _I swear her face freezes like that,_ Raven thought.

"Greetings, Friend Raven!" Starfire said beaming. "For what do you need my assistance?"

Raven paused. What exactly _did_ she need help with? She didn't particularly feel like divulging any intimate details of her latest session with Beast Boy, but she supposed she needed to tell her orange teammate _something._ She might very well lose her sanity if she didn't.

"I need…some advice," Raven finished lamely.

Starfire cocked her head to the side. "You…wish to engage in 'the girl talk?'" The warrior princess's face suddenly broke into joy and she let out a violently girlish squeal causing Raven to jerk back in horror.

"Uh…never mind," Raven said, thrown of by her joy. She stepped backwards but Starfire lightly grabbed her arm in a slight panic.

"No!" Starfire gasped, her eyes wide. "Forgive me, I am just excited to finally have 'the girl talk' with someone. Please, come in!"

When Raven didn't move, Starfire led her over to her bed. She then floated into a position where she was crossing her legs. After a moment, Raven followed suit, and the two sat across from each other, Starfire looking at her expectantly.

"So…" Raven started, unsure of what to say. "How are…things with Robin?"

If Starfire noticed the indirect nature of her question she didn't let on to it. The Tamaranian perked up at the mention of her boyfriend.

"It is everything I have ever imagined," she admitted, blushing. "He has always been one of my best friends and our relationship has only blossomed from there. I even believe he is making the effort to not spend so much of the time in his room."

Raven nodded, barely listening. It wasn't that she didn't care about her friends' relationship, rather she was too nervous Starfire would catch on to her real motives for wanting to have "the girl talk."

"That's nice. I know you've cared about him for a long time…" Raven trailed off, swallowing nervously. "What does he…when did you-" Raven made an aggravated noise in her throat, frustrated at herself for sounding so foolish. Starfire furrowed her eyes slightly in confusion, but she did not press her friend.

"When did you realize you saw him more than just a friend?" Raven finally asked.

Starfire gave a content smile. "It is…difficult to say for sure. There was always my initial attraction to him the first time we met. I was pleasantly surprised that I could not so easily destroy him." Starfire laughed sheepishly as she reflected on their first encounter.

"I suppose it was not too long after when I began to notice the feelings I had for him. There is not one memory that made it so, rather…it was…the little things?"

Starfire looked to Raven to make sure she had articulated her thoughts into Earthen phrases properly; Raven nodded in response, her expression thoughtful.

"That makes sense. I only ask because…"

"You have the same feelings for Beast Boy," Starfire finished, smiling shyly at Raven's shocked and mortified expression.

"N-no I-"

"Raven, it is the 'o' and the 'k,' Starfire assured her. "I have noticed the dynamic of your relationship change throughout the days of the past. Do not be ashamed."

Raven looked down at her hands. So this was it. This was really happening, and what was worse was that her feelings hadn't been as discreet as she thought.

"I am overjoyed for you both," Starfire continued. Her eyes grew bright and she suddenly clasped her hands together. "Perhaps you and Beast Boy can accompany Robin and I on the double date!"

"I don't think so, Star," Raven told her. "I…made a mistake."

Starfire frowned. "Raven, it is most obvious that Beast Boy cares for you deeply. If you talk to him, he will surely understand."

Raven shook her head, feeling her throat tighten. "It's not that simple."

Starfire looked at her female friend; saw the defeated look in her eyes. She leaned over and carefully placed her hand on Raven's cheek, tilting her head up to look at her.

"I do not know much about how you have been helping Beast Boy conquer his inner Beast," she said softly, dropping her hand, "but it seems as though it is a personal thing for him, yes? He feels…vulnerable?"

Raven nodded, still not sure where she was going with this.

Starfire tilted her head to the side, her curtain of red hair shimmering in the light of her room.

"Perhaps he would appreciate it if you were willing to be vulnerable as well."

Raven looked at Starfire in shock. Since when did the Tamaranian become so incredibly insightful? If Raven were to let down her walls and willingly show Beast Boy some of _her_ memories, than maybe he would give her a chance to make things right between them.

Raven didn't know what to say to the alien princess, but it turned out she didn't need to. Starfire reached out and squeezed her hand in you're welcome.

~0~0~0~

Beast Boy took a deep breath and rolled back his shoulders. He tried to shake off all the tension he had in his upper body. He sat on one of the surrounding boulders of the Tower that overlooked the ocean. The gentle lapping of the waves against the sand and rocks helped to ease his troubled mind.

He removed his shirt and tossed it onto one of the nearby rocks. Cracking his back he eased himself into a lotus position, his brows furrowed in concentration.

 _Come on Gar, she makes it look so easy,_ he thought, trying to channel his thoughts and emotions. He breathed in and out, attempting to clear all thoughts and fade away into oblivion.

Easier said than done. Every time he thought he finally had it, he would catch himself think about playing catch with Cyborg or fighting alongside his friends.

 _Or kissing Raven,_ he thought.

"Ugh!" he grunted in frustration, smacking his head. Why couldn't he do this without her? He needed to balance his emotions soon or else who knows what would happen with his Beast. Just as he was about to quit his sad attempt at mediation, he heard a pair of boots land softly on the rock next to him.

Beast Boy jumped, glancing to the right to see Raven standing there with her hood up, studying his mediation attempts. His face became slightly red as he realized his sudden state of undress and quickly put his shirt back on, barely noticing how Raven also looked away in embarrassment.

"What do you want?" he sulked, once his shirt was back on.

Raven sat down next to him. "I treated you unfairly during our last session."

Beast Boy didn't say anything, but he suddenly couldn't meet her eyes.

"It's fine," he mumbled, "I overreacted."

"If everything's fine, you wouldn't be avoiding me."

The changeling met her eyes. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me anyway. Not after-" he broke off uncomfortably, swallowing at the sudden knot in his throat.

A thin blush spread across Raven's cheeks.

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped, and then composed herself. "I wanted to have another session with you."

"I'm doing fine on my own thanks," Beast Boy fired back, but they both knew it was a lie.

Raven placed her hands on her knees, suddenly becoming very interested in them.

"Actually…I thought I could show you some of my memories this time," she whispered. She glanced up to gauge his reaction.

It was nothing short of comical. His jaw hung open and his eyes went wide as if she had just told him she was the queen of Sheba.

"Huh?" he said, unintelligently.

Raven cleared her throat and continued quietly, "You heard me."

Beast Boy shook his head to clear it.

"You really don't have to do that."

He started to get up but Raven held him in place and then carefully took his hands.

"I want to," she insisted. "I want to show you that I trust you, and that you weren't wrong about…certain things."

Beast Boy looked uncomfortable, and Raven didn't blame him. It wasn't every day she told her deepest secrets to someone. She was confident in her decision though. After a few moments Beast Boy nodded shyly, then looked at her expectantly.

Raven took a deep breath, aware of how nervous she was. If it were anyone else but him, she would have flat out refused. This, however, was important. She lifted her hands and tentatively brought down her hood for the first time since their sessions started, truly allowing him to understand she wanted to reveal herself to him.

With that in mind she held his hands more firmly, even brushing her thumb over the back of his hand lightly. If Beast Boy noticed the movement he didn't show it; his eyes were already drifting closed. Raven followed suit after one last prayer to Azar that nothing too humiliating was revealed. She took one deep breath and let herself drift away.

" _Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."_


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** _I've decided if this story does well, then that will be my deciding factor to write my next story "After Things Change." This will most likely be my longest story, and will focus on the adventures and developing relationships of all of the Titans. It will mostly be blossoming romance of BB/Rae and the growth of the couple Rob/Star who are together post-Tokyo, but will also include the chance meeting of Cy/Sarah. I am planning to borrow some elements from the "Teen Titans Go!" comic that was based on the series._

~0~0~0~

Raven was also going into her memories blind.

True to her word she revealed herself to him, but this also meant she had no idea what to expect. Everything was fair game; the memories that caused her the most joy, pain, anger, uneasiness, jealousy, or anything else could be exposed. This was the price she had to pay, but if it was for Beast Boy she would do it.

They mostly came in quick flashes for which she was grateful. She saw her fear and determination when she was fighting Monsieur Mallah to save the children, the hurt she felt when Malchior betrayed her, the feelings of content when Arella carefully brushed a strand of hair from her face, the revulsion she felt when Slade tore off her clothes revealing the wretched birthmark beneath.

Unlike Beast Boy's sessions when Raven would only see a select few of the memories, she was well aware that he would see everything she would see. The knowledge unnerved her, but it also gave her strength. She felt no shame in the decisions she had made throughout most of her life, and she wanted to share parts of herself with him that no one else knew, if for no other reason than because he was willing to share those parts of himself with her.

So Raven watched herself. She relived the rage directed at Terra as the former Titan drowned her in mud. She watched herself scream in agony as Adonis's claws raked across her frame in the Tower's hallway.

She witnessed beautiful things too.

When Robin had reached out his hand in brotherly love, willing her to follow him out of Hell. When Cyborg brushed the motor oil off her cheek after she helped him fix his 'baby.' When Starfire held her in one of her bone crushing hugs, letting her know that she would always have a female friend for "the girl talks."

She watched memories from her own eyes as well, a true sign they were entering even more personal territory.

There was Malchior again, but only briefly. He faded away to reveal her friends laughing and hugging each other after the defeat of Trigon. Emotion swelled in her throat; even after they had been through Hell and back, they still wanted to be her friend.

There was her mother again, looking right at her. She smiled sadly at her, and Raven felt herself struggling to breathe. For some reason in the memory, she knew this would be the last time she saw her mother.

The vision shifted again to a beautiful sunrise. A feeling of relief spread throughout Raven as she watched the sun peak over the horizon from her view in the ops room. She looked at the boy next to her. After all the terrors from the night before; after all the "creepiness" that seemed to continually follow her; he still stood beside her smiling.

Raven opened her eyes the same time Beast Boy did. When they released each other's hands, Raven felt something on her cheek. She lifted her hand and discovered she was crying. She glanced at Beast Boy who was touching his own wet eyes in surprise. If there was any doubt he had seen and felt everything she had, there certainly wasn't anymore.

"Woah," Beast Boy finally said.

Well if that wasn't the understatement of the century. Without really meaning to, Raven broke out into a low laugh, covering her mouth with her hand in embarrassment. Beast Boy looked up at her in surprise, but when he saw her joyful expression his own face broke out in a toothy grin. After a few moments, Raven cleared her throat and regained her composure.

"I'm…sorry for what I said, Gar," she told him. "Really."

Beast Boy shook his head. "I forgive you. And…thanks…for showing me what you did." He smiled shyly at her and she slowly returned it.

He looked out across the ocean, unsure of how he should feel. He scratched the back of his head.

"I meant what I said before," he continued. "I don't think of Terra anymore. At least not in that way."

Raven nodded. "I believe you."

Beast Boy blushed. "I _do_ care about you, Rae. A lot. I just think you're super awesome, and like the toughest person I know and…a-and I'm not really good at this sort of thing but like…would you wanna maybe get some coffee sometime?"

Raven looked at him blandly. "Coffee?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "Isn't that something people do?"

Raven smiled slightly. "I'm not really good at this sort of thing either," she said softly.

Beast Boy looked up at her curiously. Raven sighed.

"I…care about you too, Beast Boy," she admitted, "but I just don't want you to be disappointed. I'm not…I don't know how-" she sighed again, frustrated.

"I'm not really good at this sort of thing either," she repeated, looking away.

Beast Boy took her hand. She met his eyes, not quite knowing what to expect. She was surprised to see them filled with warmth, his toothy grin once again stretched wide.

"How about we suck at it together?"

Raven smiled. "I'd like that."

~0~0~0~

Both Titans had agreed to finish their last meditation session after their "date." Beast Boy had also reluctantly agreed to keep their outing on the down low to appease Raven. She had assured him it wasn't because she was ashamed, rather because she didn't want to endure to inevitable teasing from Cyborg and the lecture from Robin. Beast Boy had seen some reason to her worries.

He couldn't believe he was going on a date with Raven. He had only been on one date before, and it hadn't really ended well.

Yet here they were, walking down the boardwalk together. There were food vendors and carnival games for civilians to play, and Beast Boy was bent on winning Raven another prize. As he glanced over at his date, however, he noticed she appeared to be interested in a stand selling books a little ways away.

Eager to be the best date he could be, Beast Boy led her over to the stand, going over to the graphic novel selection while she browsed her own material.

He was busy flipping a manga, when he heard Raven's dry voice.

"Do you ever read anything besides comic books?" she asked.

Beast Boy looked up to find her brow was quirked in amusement.

He shrugged. "The pictures are really cool. Sometimes I read regular books, but they have to be about either sci-fi or animals."

"You might like this then," Raven mentioned, handing him a thin book on rare jungle species. "I thought…maybe you'd be interested if you ever wanted to morph into something new," she added shyly.

Beast Boy grinned, taking the book from her hand. "Thanks, Rae."

After the two were finished at the bookstore, Beast Boy gleefully dragged her onto a couple of rides. They both were relieved to find that the other wanted to avoid "Tunnel of Love" like the plague.

Raven normally wasn't a huge fan of carnival rides, but she supposed she could tough it out on something like the Ferris wheel. That's where the two of them sat now, slowly rising into the night sky.

"The last time we were here, Starfire got attacked by those Citadel alien things," Beast Boy reminisced.

"At least she didn't have to carry a massive chicken," Raven quipped.

Beast Boy grinned so hard his dimples were showing. "Admit it Raven, you've always wanted someone to win you a prize."

"No."

Beast Boy laughed and then slid his hand over hers.

Raven looked around nervously. She knew they were high above the ground, yet she couldn't help but feel as though everyone's eyes were on them. Beast Boy seemed to notice her reluctance because he removed his hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Raven shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Come on Rae, you can tell me," he said, his eyes earnest.

Raven sighed. "I guess I'm just…overthinking things."

Beast Boy looked down at his shoes. They were silent for a few moments before he glanced back up at her.

"Would you wanna go somewhere quieter?"

~0~0~0~

Beast Boy didn't take offence to Raven's reluctance to show any sort of affection in public. He knew by now that she was merely a private person. So he had no problem at all flying significantly farther down the boardwalk where there was no one around.

He shifted back into his human form and hung his legs over the side of the boardwalk. Raven mirrored his position after a moment.

"I had…fun today," she told him after several moments of silence.

"Really?" Beast Boy looked at her hopefully.

Raven nodded. She paused and then slowly reached her hand out to take his. Beast Boy grinned at her before interlocking their fingers.

"Would you wanna maybe do it again sometime?" he asked, his nervousness apparent in his voice.

"Don't push it," Raven drawled, but she sent him a small smile so he knew she was joking.

Beast Boy looked at her for a moment, uncertainty racking his features. He moved closer to her, his eyes staring into her violet ones. He leaned in slightly and then paused, waiting for any reaction from Raven. He then continued to lean and was pleasantly surprised when she met him a quarter of the way. His heart pounded rapidly in his chest, and his eyes drifted closed as his lips finally connected with hers.

The kiss was awkward at first, but after a few moments they moved together seamlessly. Beast Boy shifted his weight so he leaned towards her. He raised a gloved hand and cupped her cheek, angling her head to his.

He wasn't sure who did it, but eventually their mouths parted, allowing his tongue to tentatively explore her mouth. He was painfully aware of how new he was at kissing, and he hoped she didn't notice. He felt her hand lightly touch his thigh, and he shivered.

Feeling suddenly bold, Beast boy tugged gently at her lower lip. The action produced a quiet moan from the empath, and Beast Boy felt his chest swell with pride.

 _He_ was making _Raven_ feel that way!

The changeling eagerly leaned forward, anxious to deepen the kiss. His other hand moved to steady himself on her hip. He felt her grip the material of his costume more firmly, and he grinned against her mouth.

Unfortunately that grin soon opened into a yelp of surprise as his weight toppled on her. Raven's back roughly hit the boardwalk, her head lightly smacking the wood. Beast Boy caught himself on his hands on either side of Raven's head, his nose brushing hers as he hovered inches from her.

She did not look amused.

Beast Boy laughed sheepishly as he straightened himself. Raven sat up as well, brushing her uniform off.

Beast Boy was suddenly nervous. He hoped she wasn't having second thoughts.

Raven cleared her throat and looked at him with slightly flushed cheeks.

"That was-" she began but was quickly cut off by a nearby scream.

Both Titans whipped around in the direction of the boardwalk vendors.

"It's coming from the fair," Raven said, standing up at once.

Beast Boy narrowed his eyes, the kiss momentarily forgotten.

"Let's go," he said, taking her hand.

~0~0~0~

 **Author's Note:** _Aha! So that cover picture to my story makes sense with that first scene, huh? :) Anyways, only a few more chapters and it seems like I'll wrap this story up. I would have made it longer, but I want to focus on planning "After Things Change" which will go further into detail the dynamic of all the Titans' relationships. Please review, and if you get the chance let me know about what you think about the new story I'm planning! I'll only write it if I feel as though people would be interested in it._


	7. Chapter 7

Raven felt her breath catch in her throat when she saw him.

He was huge and hulking as usual. The massive, metal fists of his suit smashed into carnival stands, sending scared civilians running for their lives. Raven watched him flex his robotic muscles, arrogant as ever.

 _Adonis._

Raven's body practically rolled as she was hit with a wave of Beast Boy's anger. She spared a glance at the changeling beside her. His teeth were bared and he flexed his fingers. His claws were already starting to appear.

This was bad. They should have completed their last sessions before they went on their date, but how could they have predicted _Adonis_ of all people would be here? Raven knew the only way to avoid anyone getting seriously hurt was if she were the one to take him down.

"Call the others," Raven snapped to Beast Boy.

The green Titan looked surprised, his anger momentarily forgotten. He looked like he was about to protest, but he ended up taking out his communicator.

Raven took a deep breath. That would at least buy her some time.

She levitated toward Adonis, her eyes glowing white. The hulking villain had moved on to the Ferris wheel. He let out a grunt as he attempted to lift the metal structure with sheer force. The civilians still trapped in the carts above screeched for their lives.

Slashes of black energy hit Adonis in the back, causing him to lurch forward. He stumbled a bit before regaining his balance and turning around to see his challenger. His mouth curved up in a lecherous smirk.

" _Sweeeeeeet_ ," he drawled, leering at Raven.

The empath ignored him as she flew forward. She stretched out her arms to the side, summoning her power once more.

 _"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"_ she cried.

An abandoned food truck swarmed in her power. She flung the mobile stand at him, hoping it was enough to unbalance him once more. Adonis planted himself in front of the attack, using his arms to smash against the truck. In a few moments, it was reduced to nothing more than a pile of metal scraps.

He charged towards her then, his fist winding up for a punch. Raven landed on the ground and created a force field. His fists smacked against the shield over and over again. Raven carefully walked backwards, knowing well that if she lost her concentration she would be in serious trouble.

She phased into the ground just as Adonis wound up again. He swung forward violently, but since there was nothing there to combat him he fell forward into one of the empty carnival games.

Raven phased back up, ready to finish this fight before Beast Boy could get involved. She levitated forward, expecting Adonis to be in a crumpled heap on the other side of the carnival stand, but he was nowhere to be found. Upon further investigation, Raven deduced he had cut through the back curtain of the stand.

Using her powers to lift the curtain she followed his trail of destruction to the Tunnel of Love. As she prepared to enter the gooey boardwalk attraction, she was practically knocked to the side as Beast Boy rushed past her. He was in his normal state, but Raven could tell he was not quite himself.

"Beast Boy, wait!" she called, trapping him in her black energy.

"Raven, what are you doing?" he yelped, squirming in frustration.

Raven reluctantly released him from her powers. He fell on his behind ungracefully, looking up at her in annoyance.

"I need you to promise me not to change into the Beast," she said. "You can do this. You have the control. Don't lose yourself again."

Beast Boy calmed down significantly. He nodded, the seriousness of her tone settling into him.

"Okay," he said, his claws sinking back into his fingers. His pupils returned to their normal size, and his shoulder slackened. "I promise."

Raven gave him a small smile before regaining her determined expression. The two Titans travelled deeper into the Tunnel of Love. Beast Boy morphed into a tiger in order act as their eyes in the darkened area.

It was silent for long enough that Raven grew apprehensive. Surely Adonis of all people couldn't escape so easily? He wasn't exactly graceful.

Just as Raven was considering calling off the search, a loud crash rang out to her left. Beast Boy's head, still in the form of a tiger, jerked in the direction of the noise. With a growl, he raced to the area where Adonis had unintentionally revealed himself.

Raven followed him, cursing as she almost hit her head on a hanging metal structure. Due to the darkness that surrounded her, she was at a slight disadvantage. She could barely make out more than figures shifting in the dark, but she could see enough to determine Beast Boy had engaged Adonis.

She levitated toward their battle, her posture poised to intervene. From what she could tell, Beast Boy was switching into various aggressive animals rapidly. The Beast did not make an appearance.

 _He must really be trying,_ she thought.

Her stomach lurched in panic, however, when she witnessed one of Adonis's punches land on the changeling's stomach. Beast Boy stumbled backwards, changing from his bear form to his regular appearance. His face crinkled in pain.

Raven watched him grab his head, fighting with himself. She knew he couldn't take much more without losing control.

Without another moment to spare, Raven used her powers to trip up Adonis who had been preparing to charge Beast Boy while he was down. She trapped him against the floor with black energy, grunting with the effort.

Fortunately, she did not have to keep up the task for long, for the other Titans had finally arrived. Robin launched a smoke bomb at the trapped Adonis, successfully subduing the villain and ending the battle. Raven released him as soon as she was satisfied he would no longer be a threat. She gently landed on the ground and looked up as the others approached her.

"Are you injured, Friend Raven?" Starfire asked her eyes alight with concern.

Raven shook her head; glad the battle had ended before things spiraled out of control.

"Well it seems like you two handled Adonis just fine on your own," Robin observed, casting a suspicious look at the unconscious criminal.

"Hey, where's Beastie at?" Cyborg questioned, looking around.

"He's right-" Raven started, but then halted her speech.

Beast Boy was gone.

~0~0~0~

Once it became clear that Beast Boy was not in the general area, Robin had called for the rest of the team to spread out to cover more ground. He had stayed by the boardwalk in case the changeling returned. Meanwhile Starfire had taken to the skies, and Cyborg drove downtown in his T-Car. Raven had just finished searching around the Tower's premises.

"Any sign of him?" Robin called through the communicator.

"Nothing yet, but I'll keep looking," Cyborg answered, the sounds of the T-Car's engine prominent in the background.

"We need to find him before he hurts himself or someone else," Robin replied.

Raven's stomach twisted in unease. She couldn't help but feel partly responsible for Beast Boy's disappearance. She had told him to control his primal urges, and he had done as she commanded. She saw the immense effort it took for him to ensure he didn't transform into the Beast. Despite all odds, he had remained in his human form even when he was in danger. She knew he must have had two options when he felt himself losing control: fight or flight. It was obvious which one he had chosen.

Raven flew away from the Tower, her cape almost touching the water as she levitated. If Beast Boy was hurt she would never forgive herself.

"I can't find him anywhere in the Tower," she called in to her other friends.

Robin made a frustrated noise.

"Nor can I locate him from the air," Starfire phoned in regretfully. "I do hope he is not in much pain."

Raven paused in her flight.

 _Pain._

And just like that, she knew where he was.

~0~0~0~

He sat there, staring at the place she once stood. The stone pedestal was cracked, the letters worn with age. He remembered coming here when he missed her; when the agony of her downfall became too great. Now he was here because he simply had nowhere else to go.

He felt Raven's presence almost immediately. He had become so in tune with her the past couple of weeks that he could always tell when she entered a room. He didn't turn to face her; not even as she pulled out her communicator and told the others he was safe. He kept his eyes straight ahead, staring at the pedestal.

"How did you know I would be here?" he asked softly.

She walked up to him and took a place beside him. She stared straight ahead, the same as him.

"Starfire mentioned something that made me think of this place."

Beast Boy nodded stiffly. He was so ashamed of himself for almost losing control again. The sight of Adonis had made his blood boil. He would have liked nothing more than to slash the villain until he was begging for mercy, until he could no longer beg.

Worst of all was what he wanted to do after that. Beast Boy shuddered. Raven gave him a curious glance.

"I don't think you should be near me," Beast Boy murmured so softly that Raven almost wouldn't have understood him if she wasn't already reading his lips.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I'm dangerous to be around right now."

Raven snorted. "Well I'm not leaving. We need to-"

"No!" Beast Boy gasped, quickly standing up straight and backing away from her. "You don't _know_. I wanted to hurt you, Rae."

Raven looked up at him in surprise. "I thought your Beast wanted to protect me."

"Not hurt you in the same way as Adonis," Beast Boy muttered, looking anywhere but her.

Ah.

"Forget about that," Raven insisted, trying not to read too much into his line of thinking. "We need to finish this session. It's the only way. We have to delve into your most painful memory, and we need to revisit the memory that started all of this in the first place."

Beast Boy looked up at her miserably. "I just want it to stop."

Raven felt her chest tighten in sympathy for him. Before she could doubt herself she walked over to him and lifted his chin. She levitated slightly as she softly touched her lips to his.

The kiss held promise. It promised they would get through this. It promised he would never have to deal with this kind of torture again. It promised that no matter what, she would not leave him.

Beast Boy let out a content sigh as he moved his lips against hers. Two kisses in one day weren't half bad! He felt her hands run over his jaw and shoulders, and he shivered under her touch. His hands came up to pull her closer. One gloved hand managed to tangle itself in her violet hair, while the other found the small of her back.

As Raven unintentionally tilted his head back a little more, she levitated a little higher to compromise. The sudden movement caused Beast Boy's hand to slip and land precisely on her rump.

Raven pulled away with a deadpan expression on her face. Beast Boy's entire face went cherry red as he held his hands up in mercy.

"That wasn't me, I swear!" he begged.

Raven shook her head, but she had an amused expression on her face. Her feet landed on the ground of the cave and took Beast Boy's hands. She pulled him gently to the ground so he was facing across from her.

"We should get this done," she reminded him.

Beast Boy's anxious expression faded away as he became more determined.

"Last time, huh?" he questioned.

Raven nodded. "The last time."

Beast Boy squeezed her hands and gave her one last smile before closing his eyes. Raven stared at his face for a moment before taking a deep breath and mimicking his concentrated expression. After another moment, they began their final journey into Beast Boy's mind.

~0~0~0~

 **Author's Note:** _So close to the finish! Not sure yet if I'm going to write "After Things Change," or not. Even though it will explore all of the Titans' relationships I think I definitely want to focus on Raven's mortification when she realizes she is attracted to Beast Boy. I might even give it an M rating which I have never done before except in my story "Behind the Mask," but that was violence. Not sure, still up in the air. Either way it won't be out for at least a couple of months. Anyways, please review!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** _I wanted to take a moment to thank all of my reviewers. You are the reason I keep writing :) Thank you, lovely people._

~0~0~0~

Beast Boy knew exactly where he was the moment his feet had touched the ground. Raven was nowhere in sight, and he felt his body move of his own accord as he relived his memory. It came as no surprise that the memory was so clear, seeing as it was his most painful.

He wanted to look away. He wanted to run from this place. The waterfall from above seemed to pound in his ears; the green of the vines and leaves under his feet were too bright.

In a daze he walked to the pool of water where the waterfall continually spilled. The wreckage of the boat was clearly visible; it was scattered all across the water. Beast Boy fell to his knees, exhausted from searching for them. His voice was hoarse from calling their names, and his fingertips were bloody from gripping the ground. He continued to hang on despite the pain in his hands, for he was sure it was the only thing keeping him anchored.

Finally succumbing to his reality, he lifted his face and let out a wail. Tears streamed down his green face until they became part of the water that had taken so much from him. He sat there for hours, simply because he had nowhere else to go. He sat there even as it started to rain, soaking his clothes to his skin. He sat there until he could no longer sit, and just like that his animal instincts began to kick into gear.

Fight or flight. It was a common mentality.

He had fought when that snake had lunged for his mother. His transformation into a mongoose had come naturally. Now there was no one to fight.

So he flew away.

The memory began to fade, and Beast Boy was reminded that the visions he saw were no longer apart of his present. Raven had said they would visit his most painful memory. She had also said they would visit the memory that had taken over his subconscious. This was the memory that was the cause of his emotional imbalance. It was the reason he had wanted to change into the Beast and never return.

Beast Boy straightened his chest. Nothing was worse than that last memory. He was almost positive if the lab's chemicals had affected him before his parents' deaths then he would never have been able to change back from the Beast. That being said, it didn't make reliving _this_ memory any easier, especially since it only happened a few months ago.

He saw her standing there at the end of the hall. Her back was to him, but he could make out her hair. She was hunched over slightly. Her arms were crossed in front of her as she held her academic books.

"Things change, Beast Boy," Terra said. She turned around. "The girl you want me to be is just a memory."

 _She doesn't want to see you anymore_ , Slade's voice rang out in his head.

Beast Boy stared back at her, willing it not to be true. His hope was fading though and she knew it. He suspected she had wanted it to fade.

Robin's voice rang in from his communicator then, but he barely gave it a thought.

"Come with me," he said, his voice wavering with emotion. This was his last chance.

But she shook her head.

"You go. You're the Teen Titan. That's who _you_ are. That's not me. I'm not a hero. I'm not out to save the world."

She backed away from him then.

"I'm just a girl with a geometry test next period, and I haven't studied."

And then she was just another student in the hall, gone from his live forever. The pain of losing someone who isn't dead is a strange feeling. With his parents, there had been finality. There was with this too, but it was different. Knowing she was alive, that she was here, living and breathing in the same city as him, and yet they couldn't be together. It was a whole new kind of pain.

So he finally let her go.

~0~0~0~

When Raven opened her eyes again she was back in the cave. Her eyes were wide with surprise as she looked at Beast Boy, whose eyes were still closed.

 _It really was her,_ she thought.

None of the other Titans had confirmed Terra was actually alive and well. At the time they had had the white alien creature to worry about, and they had foolishly chalked Beast Boy's recognition of her as wishful thinking. The realization that he was right all along just made her feel guiltier.

Not only that but to feel his agony over the loss of his parents was almost too much to bear. Raven could recognize loss-her mother had died after all-but she wasn't at the scene the same way Beast Boy was. She was able to mourn her lost parent from a distance.

She brought her attention to their hands as Beast Boy squeezed hers. She looked up to see that his eyes had opened and he was staring at her with a calm smile on his face. She almost didn't understand how he could be so content after having those memories rip into him. There was one positive thing about the whole experience though, and it was clear Beast Boy recognized that.

"It's over," he breathed, the smile still on his face.

Raven mimicked his smile and leaned forward, so her forehead lightly rested against his.

~0~0~0~

"When do you think we should tell the others?" Beast Boy asked later, as they leaned against her bed.

Raven was still getting used to the idea of him regularly being in her room, so they sat on her floor rather than her bed. She didn't think she could handle two earth-shattering realities twice in the same month.

"I don't know. Do you want to tell them?" she said, turning to him. Her fingers twined with his.

Beast Boy shrugged. "I mean eventually yeah, but I kinda like the idea of us just knowing. It's like our own secret." He looked up at her with that goofy grin, and she felt herself melt a little.

Raven nodded. "Me too."

The changeling sighed, leaning his head on her shoulder. "Besides I don't think I could handle a double date with Robin."

"Agreed."

"Can I tell Cy?"

Raven raised her eyebrows at him. "I thought you wanted to keep it a secret."

Beast Boy looked at her sheepishly. "Well _yeah,_ but it's _Cyborg._ I tell him like everything."

"Very well," she replied, giving him an affectionate smile.

Beast Boy perked up suddenly. "Hold on," he said, rushing out of the room.

Raven stood up, frowning. What could he be up to? Her internal question was answered a few moments later as Beast Boy raced back in, holding the small, silver, heart-shaped jewelry box he had given to Terra all those months ago. Raven stared at him.

"Uh…"

"I let go of Terra in that school," Beast Boy explained, scratching his head. "This is the final piece of her that I need to let go. And I-I wanted you to help me…if you're okay with that!" he added quickly.

Raven looked at him for a moment, and then a mischievous grin sprouted on her face. Murmuring her words she opened a portal into an unknown abyss. Beast Boy peered into it curiously.

"Where does it go?" he asked, turning to her with a raised eyebrow.

"The same place I banished that wretched 'stank ball,'" she quipped, her voice dripping with amusement.

A large grin spread across Beast Boy's face and with a hearty toss he launched the box into the abyss. Raven sealed the portal shut and a moment later found Beast Boy's scrawny arms latched around her in a bone-crushing hug. When he released her, his eyes glowed.

"You're so amazing, Rae."

Raven smiled at him, and it was peacefully silent for a few moments.

"So," he continued, "I guess now that I've officially conquered my Beast you can _really_ start calling me Beast Man!"

The smile faded from Raven's face. "We were having another moment. Don't ruin it again."

Beast Boy's smile was a mile wide as he threaded his fingers through hers.

"Babe, now that you're mine we're gonna have so many moments for me to ruin!"

And without another moment to lose he tugged her out of the room, so they could inform Cyborg of the big news.

The End.

~0~0~0~

 **Author's Note:** _Just a short, cute story that I really had fun writing. Thank you guys for sticking with me! Again, I would have made this longer, but I really want to continue planning "After Things Change" which will by far be my longest story yet. I've already finished a few chapters! It will be mostly BB/Rae focused following Raven's POV in third person. I really want to take my time with it, so I won't start posting until it's finished so I can post every day! I always like to update my stories frequently because I know how frustrating it can be waiting for that next chapter. The chapters for this next story will be much longer, and more carefully written._

 _If you guys would like to learn about the details of "After Things Change" or if you have any questions feel free to PM me. I would like to finish it by the end of the summer, and I think if I write a chapter every day I can do it! I will be incorporating some ideas from the TTG comic that was based on the series. Here's a potential summary to give you a sneak peak of what I plan to write:_

 _ **After Things Change**_

(Rated M for violence and adult content) –

A continuation story. Raven is mortified to discover she has developed an attraction to Beast Boy. Some things change for the better.

Mostly BB/Rae, minor RobStar and Cy/Sarah

 _That's it for me for now guys! I'll keep you posted. Thanks again and always feel free to reach out!_


End file.
